


Pictures

by Alyssa_Allyrion



Series: Till death do us part [5]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Falling In Love, Humor, Introspection, M/M, hisoka will get himself killed again if he carries on like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 12:34:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15000992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyssa_Allyrion/pseuds/Alyssa_Allyrion
Summary: In which Hisoka knows how to leave a lasting first impression on Illumi's parents





	Pictures

The departure date of the Black Whale quickly approached, and Illumi was getting concerned – Hisoka should have contacted him by now. _Did this fool mess up the plan already,_ Illumi wondered angrily looking at his phone screen. With a sigh Illumi set the phone down on the nightstand and headed towards the table to pick up his needles. 

Suddenly the phone rang. _Finally,_ Illumi thought as he turned back and grabbed the phone. To his surprise it was not Hisoka – instead, Illumi recognized his mother’s phone number. Illumi did not want to pick up the phone - after all, his father ordered Illumi and his brothers to avoid the Phantom Troupe. Illumi knew his parents were less then thrilled when they learned that Kalluto joined the Troupe – and he did not imagine they would appreciate him joining as well. 

But, knowing the persistence of his mother, Illumi realized that there was no choice but to pick up the phone. 

“Hello,” he said.

“Illumi your father and I want to talk to you,” his mother said. _They know,_ Illumi thought and sighed with resignation. 

“A few days ago I have received a message from a friend of yours…who told me the two of you got engaged,” Kikyou continued. 

Prepared to explain that he was contracted to join the Phantom Troupe, Illumi was caught off guard. “Ah, that. Yes, Hisoka and I are engaged to be married,” he said simply. 

“Then why am I getting these news from him and not from you,” Kikyou exclaimed, and suddenly started sobbing, “How could you? How could you not tell your own mother that you are getting married!”

Illumi remained quiet.

“Oh, but there is so much to do, so much to prepare for the wedding!” Kikyou abruptly stopped crying and sounded almost cheerful, “But first – when are we meeting your fiancé?”

“Not for a while. Not until I am done with my current contract,” Illumi answered. 

“Very well. But don’t you dare get married in the meantime, and then just come to your father and I and inform us that you are already married! You are the first of our children to get married, and you _will_ have a proper wedding,” his mother sounded calm, but he could sense the threat behind her words. 

“Of course not, mother,” Illumi said, “I would not do that.”

“What does your fiancé do, by the way?” Kikyou asked.

“He is a magician…” Illumi trailed off, distracted by a sudden gust of the wind hitting against the window. 

“A _magician_?” Kikyo almost spat out the word. 

“And a hunter,” Illumi added quickly. 

“That is better,” his mother said slowly, “But you still better get a prenup. What if he is after the family's money?”

“Don't worry about that mother, we already have a prenup - if he dies, I get everything,” Illumi explained. 

“Good, good,” Kikyou said, "Now wait a moment."

Illumi could hear how she moved away from the phone and exclaimed, “Silva come here, I’m talking to Illumi about his engagement." 

"Tell your father what you told me,” Kikyou added, returning to the phone.

“Hisoka and I are getting married,” Illumi repeated obediently. 

“I don’t think I know who that is,” Silva answered after a brief pause. 

Illumi could hear that his mother grabbed the phone out of his father's hands. 

“What does he look like? Since you are not coming to see us any time soon, at least send us a picture,” Kikyo demanded. 

Illumi knew he did not have any pictures with Hisoka. 

“I don’t have any,” Illumi said, and a moment later he heard his phone ping. A notification arrived from his mother that she created a group chat. 

“Add him to the group and ask him to send a picture,” Kikyo ordered, “ Knowing you, unless I make you do it now, I'l never get the picture”

Illumi sighed with resignation. He knew that arguing with his mother was rather pointless, as she would get her way. Quickly adding Hisoka to a group chat, Illumi sent him a message, "Send your picture."

A few moments passed before Illumi decided to quickly add, "It is for my parents, they want to see what you look like."

As the last message was being sent, Illumi received three files, and a message that read, "Anything for you ♥."

The first file turned out to be a freshly taken picture of Hisoka's face - Illumi could tell by the bright bruise on his neck that he left during their last...encounter just a few days prior.

“Oh no, not him,” Illumi heard Silva say. 

Before Illumi could explain anything, his mother suddenly gasped. 

“What-what the hell?” she exclaimed. 

Looking back at the group chat Illumi felt blood rush away from his face. The other two pictures were both of Hisoka lazily lounging on bed in all his _very_ naked glory. 

"Oops," Illumi saw a new new text from Hisoka, "Did not see that these are for your parents, sorry."

Illumi really wanted to kill him right now.

"Illumi," his mother started faintly, and, suddenly Illumi decided to do something he did not do very often - hang up on his parents. 

“I can't hear you. The connection is really bad here. I’ll talk to you later,” he messaged them. 

“You are a dead man,” Illumi texted Hisoka, “I'll make sure you regret this and _will_ hurt.”

“Is that a promise?” Hisoka texted him. “You know, I do love it so when you hurt me ♥.”

With exasperation, Illumi threw the phone across the room. _I _will_ murder him._ The phone pinged again, and Illumi went over to look at it, hopingthat that was not his parents. He was lucky this time, as the message was from Hisoka again.

“By the way, I am done with stage one of our plan,” Hisoka texted, “So I’ll meet you as soon as you can. And you better do good on that promise ♥.”

Illumi sighed then got up and picked up his needles and his back. _The damed fool will regret this, I will make sure of it._

**Author's Note:**

> Hisoka’s modus opernadi: sending naked pictures first, asking questions later.
> 
>  
> 
> I think I've given up on trying to make each of my fics the last one I write about these two. They are way too entertaining to write about, so there will definitely be more. 
> 
> If anyone wants to talk to me about these two, my tumblr askbox is always open (https://alyssaallyrion.tumblr.com/ask)  
>  
> 
> ~~crying quietly about all the fics for other fandoms that I am procrastinating on currently~~


End file.
